The fourth trimester
My birth story & navigating my way through the trenches
I don’t think you can ever really prepare for having a baby. It doesn’t matter how much you know going into it, until it happens you can’t ever imagine how your life is about to change and the feelings that you are about to experience.
The feeling of sleep deprivation isn’t one you can anticipate, or giving your every minute of every day to taking care of this tiny fragile baby. I was flooded with overwhelm, exhaustion but more importantly, intense love which sure enough overrides it all.
There is no doubt that social media glamourises the postpartum phase. Photos of women wearing make-up with their brushed, washed hair in a pair of jeans, who are you people!? This is all a facade. What you don’t see is a mothers intense exhaustion, cracked burning nipples, saggy mushy tummies, leaking boobs, knotty hair and hormonal tears that come out of nowhere! So, I thought I would share my experience because I love to over share, and hopefully this will either resonate with you, make you proud of how far you have come or get you ready for the fun ahead!
Can I just begin by saying, the love bubble is absolutely real and makes up for anything that I am about to say! And let’s be honest, who wants to read a blog about how wonderful life is with a newborn? I feel it’s important to talk honestly and openly about my birth, feelings and fourth trimester as i wish i had heard this beforehand, so here goes.. Also can i just say, i still have baby brain so i’m doing my best here..
When prepping for my birth i made it my business to talk to all my friends about their birthing experiences and listened to every episode of the Australian Birth Stories and Beyond the Bump podcasts. I feel like I really anticipated the worst. I had heard some pretty traumatic birth stories, thus developed a really frightening perception of the whole birthing experience, which in hindsight makes me sad as my experience was anything but!
Prior to falling pregnant I had suffered from mild incontinence for a few years with absolutely no known reason for it. To put it less politely, when I needed to pee, I needed to pee! My obstetrician (OB) knew this, so when she saw that the baby was tracking in the 90th percentile of size in the 37 week sizing scan she recommended I have a caesarean, I was instantly deflated. As a nutritionist we learn all about the incredible benefits of birthing a baby vaginally. Being exposed to all of the mother’s bacteria coming down the birth canal and helping them to develop a strong immunity and gut microbiome from the get go. When I told my acupuncturist about possibly needing a C what she said to me really resonated with me and I couldn’t get it out of my mind: ‘Julia, your body will never grow a baby you cannot birth, be empowered to make your own decision of how you want to birth your child.’ When I heard my OB’s recommendation instead of saying sure, I negotiated with her to induce me at 39 weeks, giving me the best chance at a vaginal delivery to ensure the baby wasn’t too large by that stage. My OB agreed we give it a go, I was instantly relieved whilst petrified at the same time. How can I go against a professional’s opinion? Am I setting myself up for a traumatic birth? I had a lot of anxiety around this decision but had to stick with my gut feeling that I could do this, so I was willing to take the risk.
I went into the hospital on Sunday night, the 14th Feb tracking 38+5 weeks pregnant. First up the midwives accessed my cervix which was still closed at that stage, i was given the gel and told to get a good night sleep before a big day ahead. At 8am on Monday morning I was woken up to a midwife saying ‘Your OB is on her way to rupture your membranes’! What a way to start the day, in laymen’s terms, she was coming to break my waters. I didn’t find this painful at all, some may say it’s a very unpleasant experience but you don’t expect for it to be pleasant, your about to birth a baby so you can’t start complaining just yet! They hooked me up with an oxytocin drip and about one hour later I started experiencing mild contractions. I spent the next few hours playing rummy tiles, walking down stairs to get gravity doing it’s thing and listening to an epic playlist to create a relaxed environment, one i had listened to throughout my whole pregnancy. I remember thinking once my contractions started, wow if this is what it feels like I have totally got this!! I laugh at the very thought when i think back to it, how naive i was! The contractions progressively got stronger as the morning went on. By midday I found myself in the bath tub, breathing in happy gas chomping through a whole packet of the natural confectionary lollies to help me take my mind off the pain (no, the lollies didn’t help but they were delicious!). The gas didn’t help me one bit.
Surprisingly, from the get go I was very open minded about pain relief. If you knew me, you would know im not one to take pain killers, ever! However when it came to childbirth i was realistic and open minded. Nothing, I mean nothing, can prepare you for the pain of contractions. Without sugar coating it, it felt like I was being stabbed in the guts every few minutes. The one thing that slightly helped me mentally get through it all is something I read in the Juju Sundin ‘Birth Skills’ book, reiterating birth pain is good pain - each time you feel a contraction it’s the baby getting closer to meeting you! That being said, 90 minutes into the intense contractions i was in tears, I just couldn’t handle the pain anymore. To have thought I would have to do this for another 4+ hours.. nope, no way, can’t do, not for me. Hats off to every woman out there that does it without pain relief, i genuinly dont understand how women do it, what absolute super heros!! In hindsight, I’m so glad I got to experience the contractions and wouldn’t have wanted the pain relief earlier than I did. The anaesthetist took another 45 minutes to arrive and the epidural took another 45 minutes to kick in… then there was peace.
Following the epidural I felt absolutely nothing, I went on to have a 2 hour nap, exhausted from the day so far and was woken by the midwives coming in to access my progress. It was 4 p.m. and I was finally 9cm dilated. They called in my OB to begin pushing this baby out! I felt absolutely zero pain whilst pushing, I didn’t even feel any pressure that everyone talks about. I pushed on each contraction for 50 minutes. At 5.50pm the head made its appearance and as the shoulders came out my OB asked me to grab under the arms and pull the baby out myself! She caught me so off guard, what an experience, it was the most incredible thing I had ever done in my entire life! I was the first one to see the little balls pop right out and screamed out ‘IT’S A BOY’! Everyone in the room knew it was going to be George if it was a boy, so we all start screaming, George, George! Prince George arrived into the world and my life would never be the same again! To my OB’s surprise, he was not a 4+kg baby that the scans had forecasted, but rather 3.56kg and luckily he came out without needing any intervention which I was expecting due to his forecasted size. In my head I was expected an episiotomy and forceps because it seemed to be quite common with bigger babies, I was absolutely shocked he came out relatively easily. I had a couple of stitches in the aftermath, stitching up a graze. The word gratitude for my birth doesn’t even cut it. In my opinion it was the most positive experience i could have imagined, i do put a lot of this down to the decision to have an epidural and luck that George didn’t do any turning on his way out.
So now the fun begins.. Things got very real very quickly. The next 4 days in hospital was a total whirlwind! This is the only way I can describe it.. I’m nursing a swollen puffy vagina by stuffing ice packs in my size 18 granny panties every few hours to relieve the pain, I’m bleeding for the first time in 9 months and wearing the biggest pads I never knew existed, I have a nurse squeezing colostrum from my boobs into a syringe because he wouldn’t latch, I’m trying to work out how to burp my delicate little baby without breaking his neck, I’m racing to and from his bassinet putting my fingers under his nostrils every few hours to check he is still breathing, and in between all of this I’m feeding my baby every 2-3 hours ROUND THE CLOCK through a syringe/bottle, resulting in serious sleep deprivation! The word challenging doesn’t begin to describe these first few days.. But all made better with this intense love I have for this incredible miracle we have created!! The hormones your body releases after birthing a child is so euphoric which makes all the hard times totally manageable. We all survive to tell the tale!
My first challenge I stumbled upon from the get go was breast feeding. As natural as breastfeeding sounds, it is actually really challenging for many women and for some it doesn’t work at all. Breastfeeding was something I have been wanting to do from the moment I was pregnant. I know of many women who couldn’t breastfeed for various reasons so I went into it knowing it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. In the early days George didn’t latch onto my nipple which was absolutely heartbreaking for me. I had every single midwife at the hospital help me but it just didn’t work! He would scream at by boob whilst I was crying back at him, devastating! Not being able to give your baby food is really hard to comprehend. For the first few days I had to express my colostrum into a syringe and feed him that way, it was the most tedious process as I couldn’t figure out how to do it so I had nurses in my room every 3 hours squeezing my nipples for 20 minutes at a time to get it out, arghhh! Then, once my milk came in on day 3 I started expressing with an electric pump, every 3 hours for 3 days and feeding him through a bottle. I absolutely hated it but refused to start him on formula as the milk was there, so I persevered. My boobs went from a B to a Double D overnight, it was absolutely excruciating, they were intensely engorged and heavy. Then by day 4 one of the midwives suggested to try a nipple shield, why did it take 4 days for someone to suggest this! I popped it on my nipple and I immediately had some traction with it. He latched for the first time! I cried hysterically when he first latched, It was an absolute euphoric experience! My whole pregnancy I envisioned breastfeeding my baby and after 4 days of sheer frustration I was doing it!
It’s important that I say not all women choose to breastfeed, or some stop in the early days for multiple reasons. We should not feel judged based on how we choose to feed our baby. They say FED IS BEST for a reason! It is a personal decision and for me it was something I was adamant about, so I therefore remained persistent to get the outcome I was hoping for. I also do believe based on my research as a nutritionist, breast milk is an incredible way to give our babies a pleather of nutrients, anti microbial properties, antibodies and good bacteria contributing to developing a strong immunity for your baby.
My breastfeeding journey has been an absolute roller coaster. My milk came in hard and fast from the get go. I was extremely lucky to have had a great supply of milk, if you saw the size of George you would understand. Let me just say, a good supply doesn’t come without its challenges. Week 2 rolled around and my boobs were so incredibly engorged I couldn’t keep up with draining them, nor did I really understand how important it was, so sure enough I got mastitis. But not just the regular type. It was so bad I developed an abscess in my right boob. Now if you don’t know what that is, envisage the worst pain you have ever had in your life and double it. It was absolutely excruciating.. I almost want to say as bad as contractions! I had to hold my boob whilst walking around because otherwise the sheer gravity would aggravate it and make it worse. I was two weeks post partum lying in bed in absolute tears, not because i had just had a baby but because i was fighting the most intense infection i have ever had. I found a physio who specialises in all things breastfeeding who fit me in as an emergency case on a Saturday. She ended up squeezing the abscess (puss) out of my nipple with her hands. OH MY GOODNESS IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! I was in tears on the table thinking to myself, is this all worth it? She said if I had left this untreated by that night I would probably be hospitalised.
Sure enough, against my will I had to follow it up with a 12 day round of antibiotics.. I was actually heartbroken! For the past four years I could count on one hand how many times I’ve had to take pain relief. Now, two weeks postpartum I was dosing up with daily Panadol and Nurofen and now a round of antibiotics! Knowing that this could effect my new baby and my gut really got me down. I had worked so hard over the years to develop a really healthy gut flora to then be wiped out with the antibiotics was shattering. However, I know many people who had ended up in hospital with mastitis for not treating it soon enough, in which case they had to stop breastfeeding all together, so I weighed up my options and decided taking it was the smartest decision. The hardest part about mastitis is not the pain, but rather not being able to take care of your baby because you are struck down so hard. Chills, night sweats, emotions/HORMONES. It’s rough and the last thing you expect to experience in your second week of motherhood. Emotions are running wild, I am crying in bed in the middle of the day, shivering with a fever in the most unimaginable pain, dreading the next time George has to feed on my excruciating nipple with the taste of blood in my mouth just thinking about it. Sure enough, just like everything, the pain passed about 24 hours after starting the medication.
After a round of antibiotics, it’s extremely important to focus on optimising your gut health! Some of the things I did to support my gut over this time was to take a specific breastfeeding probiotic (The brand is Quora probiotics). But it doesn’t stop there, recolonising your gut with prebiotic food is just as important. Foods high in prebiotics are garlic, onion, kefir, yoghurt, kombucha, sauerkraut, bone broth, tempeh and legumes to name a few. I made sure I included it all in my diet for the following weeks, along with a diet rich in a variety of veggies! (never underestimate the power of veggies!)
I have had lots of people asking me, how do you have time to cook when you’re a new mum. To be honest, I view nourishing my body through food in the post-partum recovery as important as sleep. My body is recovering from labour, sleep deprivation and my baby is sucking the absolute life out of me. What my body needs for recovery and what my baby needs through my breast milk is nutrients! I feel if you can adopt this perspective you will make time for prioritising a wholesome diet! I view each meal as an opportunity to nourish both myself and my baby, because ultimately if I’m not in a healthy state my baby won’t be either! Whilst food is always at the forefront for me, it’s also important to take some vital supplements that your body may not be getting enough of through food in the postpartum phase. My current daily supplement routine looks like:
+ A prenatal vitamin (Tresos Natal by Eagle), I have been taking these for the past year and yes, it’s still important to take in your postpartum phase!
+ A DHA capsule, key for the babies ongoing brain development as well as proven to support your mood (DHA, bioceuticals)
+ Iron supplement as I struggle to meet iron requirements through food (I take Iron Sustain, Bioceuticals)
+ Zinc supplement every other day to support my immunity and bodies healing (Zinc sustain, Bioceuticals)
+ Vitamin C powder in my water once a day to support my immunity and fatigue (Extra Potent C, Bioceuticals)
+ Magnesium powder each night before I go to bed to support my sleep, or lack thereof!
+ Adrenal support, I supplement with Ad Restore by Biomedica to support my adrenal function
+ A daily scoop of collagen (NutraOrganics) to support my gut and skin health
*Everyone’s postpartum recovery is different, these products are based on my individual needs. I highly suggest going to get a full blood test after 6+ weeks of giving birth and consulting with a practitioner about the best supplements for you.
Lastly, I wanted to highlight this whole notion around expectations for your body to bounce back. To be honest, I secretly though my body would come back pretty quickly considering I consistently moved my body my whole pregnancy. However what I didn’t anticipate, is how far down ‘training’ would be placed on my agenda to get back into postpartum. Don’t get me wrong, I need to move my body everyday for my mental health, but in order to get my old body back I would need to get back into intense training 5 days a week which I absolutely am not even close to thinking about doing, nor do I have the time to do it! Our priorities change in each life stage, right now I am fully focused on taking care of my very young baby and not prepared to wake up at 5.30am and flog on already exhausted sleep deprived body just so I can get my abs back. I have full trust my postpartum body will be a healthy but more relaxed body that I will learn to love because this is the body that allowed me to birth my son.
I finish writing this blog as George turns 4 months old. Everyone says the first 6-12 weeks are the hardest but to be honest, each stage has it’s challenges! I got mastitis again at week 15 and hand on heart i can say it was the hardest week of my life. Each day is a new challenge in some way, what gets me through each hurdle is knowing ‘This too shall Pass’, my postpartum mantra! Every challenge is made easier when i look at this incredible blessing i have created that has filled my world with so much love, grateful every single minute for George and my incredible husband Kimon for being the best support a new mum could ask for.
Good luck to all the new mummas out there, what an exhilarating ride! To everyone currently in the trenches, this too shall pass!
xx
